Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Dump the Frump

Famed trainer and television star, Jillian Michaels, announced to the world in a US Magazine interview, she would not be having kids "the natural way". Explaining she just couldn't do that to her body. How sad it is that her appearance is more important to her than giving life to a child, her sculpted abs mean more to her than experiencing the miracle of pregnancy. I don't blame Jillian. She makes her living based on her appearance. I suppose stretch marks don't sell much in the fitness market.

Years ago, when I was pregnant with our third, my hairdresser proclaimed she'd never have more than two children. In her limited experience, children age you and turn you into an old, dowdy, boring, housewife and mother. She went on to express her pity for those poor shabby women stuck at home with all those kids. Sigh.

I'll be honest, I went through a phase for a year or two where I didn't think it mattered how I looked. I even went out in public in my pj bottoms on a regular basis. They were comfortable, I had several kiddos, and I believed I just didn't have time to take care of myself properly. Besides, it really didn't matter, right? I wonder how many young women observed me in all my frumpy glory with my little brood of babies and thought to themselves, "I'm never going to have children if that's what is going to happen to me! Yikes!"

Does it really take that much more time to run a brush through our hair, put on a real outfit, and throw on a little mascara or lipstick? I have several friends with more children than I do. They are some of the most beautiful and confident women I know. They almost always look "put together" and they make it look effortless. What a wonderful example they set for younger moms. Over the years I've readjusted my thinking to realize that I am an example of motherhood to other women. I try to dress nicely, fix my hair, put on a little make-up and a pair of earrings as a way of saying, "Having a small army of offspring does not mean you have to let your self go. Be a proud, beautiful, put together mama. It is possible."
Print Friendly and PDF


Party of Nine said...

Since I've known you, you've always looked great! You are a great example to your daughters, too :) Do you shop for clothes online, or do you go out shopping? I don't like shopping for clothes, but I'm afraid of buying the wrong size online shopping.

Brother Walt said...

Hey Mau!

I love your Frump Dump post. So true about putting some effort in how you look. I try to run a brush through my hair and even though people think I need to paint my face (or do something drastic) make-up is just not my style. I have chosen to spend more time on my wardrobe to project greater confidence in my manness. I have chosen to upgrade my daily outfits to include either a muscle shirt or half shirt (remember those half Nike shirts that show off the mid driff one pack), old school running shorts (you remember my cross-country days) knee high tube socks and old school pair of nikes or burkenstocks if I am feeliing classy that day. Not only women should look their best but us men need to step up and tell the world that I may not be beautiful but look at me anyways!!! I am working on a new ensemble that will consist of pegged 501 jeans and t-shirts with a unicorn or a picture of Fonzie on it. As you can see not only women need to see that we all have an inner classy person that needs to come out!

Love you Mau!


Maia said...

Great post! I am currently aiming for some semblance of order to my appearance. I never really had any to begin with, but I am trying to get things together so I can be a quiet example of how beautiful life is (instead of being someone that people point to and say, "And THAT is why I will never have kids!")

Sarah Oldham said...

I'm re-thinking jeans. Some say to try and buy those "not your mom's jeans" they sell at Norstrom. Do I dare try them? Anyone? I really want to wear tan/gray/black slacks or trousers. Get away from jeans, I think. But, I'm only 40 so in my mind I think I can wear jeans another ten years before I feel like I'm trying too hard to stay young and hip.

Anyway, yes, put on some makeup and brush your hair and dress nice as you can . . . I like the earrings, too.

You've always looked good when I saw you!

Nârwen said...

I'm wondering about your hairdresser - did she run into my older female relatives ? If so, her view is understandable. Many a time I've been stuck listening to great aunt This or cousin That moaning about how she wished she had been able to have fewer kids, and how lucky women are these days...
Sometimes it's not just the culture pushing small families - it's people who had or were from large families, and hated it.