Friday, November 12, 2010

The Boy Wants a New Nickname

Stat Boy/Nut has spoken, and being the loving mother I am, I am listening. He no longer feels his current nickname is an adequate representation of who he really is and he is requesting a new name. He suggested I sponsor a nickname contest here on the blog and I aim to please. If you have a suggestion for a new moniker, leave it in the combox. Of course, readers that actually know the Boy will have an easier time capturing his essence. As a way of assisting the rest of my readers, I'm providing a list of his interests and special qualities.

He loves sports.
His favorite teams come from Seattle, unless you are talking college sports and then his blood runs Carolina Blue.
He has a wicked sense of humor.
He loves pasta, pizza, and queso.
He keeps lists of sports stats in notebooks buried in the pit of despair that is his room (this was how his current nickname was derived).
He's become a compulsive texter.
He has a talent in impersonating people and movie characters. He's especially good at impersonating Gollum, Napoleon Dynamite, and Patrick (from Spongebob).
He spent $70 of his own money on a gorilla costume and swears it was the best $70 he's ever spent.
He's very rarely separated from his iPod.
He runs our family's football pools and March Madness pools and for all his sports knowledge, he can't seem to beat his flute playing, book worm, ballerina younger sister.
He's very social, and friendly.
He's my biggest complainer when it comes to chores (he declares I'm obsessed with chores).
I have had to look up to him to scold him for over a year now and he's still growing. Another couple inches and Wingnut will be looking up to scold him.
He also has an ego the size of Texas and thinks everyone should bow down and worship him.
Did I mention he loves sports?

I really do need your help here. My best idea for a new name is Gorilla Boy. What do you think?
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Natalie said...

How about The Sportster? The Sports Boy sounds a little young. Maybe The Sports Guy? I always called my little brother Little Man, but once he got so tall I started calling him Little Big Man. It makes more sense if you've seen the Dustin Hoffman movie. The Jokester might work too instead of Gorilla Boy. Joker would just remind me of Batman. That's all I got for now. Hope it helps.

Anonymous said...

How about "The Oracle of Doofi"?

Tonya said...

Sporting Gorilla Jokester. SPG for short. Hmmm. That doesn't work. Joking Sporty Gorilla. JSG. How about just Crazy Man?

Katie said...

How about Duke Fan ;-)

Party of Nine said...

Uncle Rico

Anonymous said...

Aha how about NOt Duke fan. That one loses!

Haha at Uncle Rico. And LOL at who ever you are "anonymous"

Still waiting for my demented Uncle to comment... I have a feeling it will be interesting...

From the poor nameless dude.

Walt said...

Hey Mau,

How about Statrilla or Primate Boy or Banana Brain or Rainmonkey (instead of Rainman) or Carolina Clown or Abacus Ape Boy or El Chico de los numeros...there will be more coming later.

Love Ya Mau

Anonymous said...

I like gorillaman but I was going to say that
But of course someone else did
How about mr popular or mr p for short

Skoshi a