Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Hierarchy

Leo has developed an elaborate hierarchy of favoritism in the family.  The adjectives change from time to time, but for the most part his hierarchy looks a bit like this from top to bottom:

Super-Duper All Favorite
All Favorite
Tie Favorite
1/2 Favorite
Part Favorite
(w)Hole Favorite



Members of the family move up and down the hierarchy depending on his mood, whims, and ire.  The only family member who consistently stays in the same slot is Chris, who cannot seem to buy Mr. Leo's love and move from (w)hole favorite to any thing higher up the list.  

For the longest time, it seemed as I would never be booted from my top position on the list as Super-Duper All Favorite. That was until an unfortunate bath time incident in which I managed to get water in his eyes and then had the audacity to swat his behind when he screamed disrespectfully in my ear.  From that moment, I was completely banned from his list of favorites.  He insisted I would not recover my position until I had apologized for getting water in his eyes and swatting his behind.

I was truly sorry for getting water in his eyes, apologized and I regained a bottom position on the list, but I could not apologize for swatting him.  He definitely deserved and needed a little slap on the rear.  For days on end I remained fixed at (w)hole favorite.  One evening I asked if I would ever recover my top position.

"Not until you apologize for spanking my butt," he stated emphatically.

"I am sorry I had to spank your butt," I attempted.

"No! You have to be sorry FOR spanking my butt!"

"Well, I can't be sorry for that.  You deserved it."

"Then you can't be my super-duper all favorite."


Yes, this one gets the subtleties of the English language.  Why am I so surprised?


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4 comments:

Jennie C. said...

They seem to get more clever the farther along in the birth they are. :-)

Jennie C. said...

That's birth ORDER!

Katie said...

Too funny!

Chere Mama said...

A future lawyer perhaps. So funny!