God in the Back Seat

Five years ago, this coming August, we lost a precious baby boy at 18 weeks gestation. It was a devastating loss for Wingnut and me, and for our children. Mercifully, our parish offers burial for just such losses. Our wonderfully, supportive priest gave our baby a place and we were allowed to give him burial in holy ground. We mourned the loss of little Josef as a family.

One year and 10 months later we were blessed with Lil' Wingnut. He has been a beautiful consolation for us all. Many times we've recalled that if God had not chosen to take Josef to Him, we would not have this precious, precocious three year old today.

Lil' Wingnut's siblings have told him all about baby Josef. He's visited his grave with us on several occasions. He is very aware of his existence. Recently he has been bringing his lost brother up in conversation. Just last week, while riding in the car, he said, "I wish my brother, baby Josef, had not died."

I responded, "Well, if Josef had not been taken to heaven when he was, we would not have been given you. You might have been born into a different family. That would have been too bad for us. You know, I believe God has something very special planned for you."

"Yeah. You know God is in the sky." He innocently replied.

"Well, Lil' Guy, God is really everywhere."

"Everywhere?"

"Yes, everywhere."

"He's in the car?"

"Yes, he's in the car."

You should have seen the look on his face as he slowly turned to look at the empty seat next to him. I think he fully expected to see God sitting there right next to him. This one makes me smile.

I thank God each and every day for this consolation He has given us. Lil' Wingnut serves as a reminder, that while in the depths of sorrow we may not see the hand of God at work in our lives, but in Him we are always given solace.