The Boy Wants a New Nickname

Stat Boy/Nut has spoken, and being the loving mother I am, I am listening. He no longer feels his current nickname is an adequate representation of who he really is and he is requesting a new name. He suggested I sponsor a nickname contest here on the blog and I aim to please. If you have a suggestion for a new moniker, leave it in the combox. Of course, readers that actually know the Boy will have an easier time capturing his essence. As a way of assisting the rest of my readers, I'm providing a list of his interests and special qualities.

He loves sports.
His favorite teams come from Seattle, unless you are talking college sports and then his blood runs Carolina Blue.
He has a wicked sense of humor.
He loves pasta, pizza, and queso.
He keeps lists of sports stats in notebooks buried in the pit of despair that is his room (this was how his current nickname was derived).
He's become a compulsive texter.

He has a talent in impersonating people and movie characters. He's especially good at impersonating Gollum, Napoleon Dynamite, and Patrick (from Spongebob).
He spent $70 of his own money on a gorilla costume and swears it was the best $70 he's ever spent.
He's very rarely separated from his iPod.
He runs our family's football pools and March Madness pools and for all his sports knowledge, he can't seem to beat his flute playing, book worm, ballerina younger sister.
He's very social, and friendly.
He's my biggest complainer when it comes to chores (he declares I'm obsessed with chores).
I have had to look up to him to scold him for over a year now and he's still growing. Another couple inches and Wingnut will be looking up to scold him.

He also has an ego the size of Texas and thinks everyone should bow down and worship him.
Did I mention he loves sports?

I really do need your help here. My best idea for a new name is Gorilla Boy. What do you think?